If I Won The Lottery

I'll be the first to admit, at my young age my retirement accounts don't look too promising. I get that there is still a lot of time before, strike that, IF I ever retire. The best plan right now is to buy lottery tickets and hope for the best. Don't get me wrong, I don't need to win $148 million, just a couple million would do.

First thing I would do, set aside most of it for my family so they are set for their lives.

Second, buy a junk car with huge steel beams as bumpers. I would get the car decked out with safety cages and roll bars and what not. My first target would be to back out of our driveway and run into the neighbor's mailbox who are always backing into ours and denying it. Then I would proceed to find annoying drivers and stop extremely quickly in front of them, watching them wreck their cars.

Another thing I would like to do, pay someone to do all of my laundry, including folding it and putting it away. Most likely the least favorite thing in the house to do, next to cleaning up kid puke.

Obviously I would build a dream house, it would consist of grass carpets, like the grass from golf greens. I would make sure it had a fountain pop machine and a stream running through it. That way I could play Legos and GI Joes with my boy. Another thing the house would have is a hockey rink in the basement, gotta have basement hockey.

I'm just making fun of myself with these, I would like to think I would give most of the money away after I get fired from work for pooping on co-workers chairs and or desks.