Too Politically Correct

Looking through articles on a web site today during lunch, I came across one entitled “Gross Couple Habits to Avoid, Starting Now.” The article went on to describe 4 things that should not be done in front of your wife/husband, but I think the things not to do were pretty much aimed at the men. The article was written by “The Nest Editors,” obviously all women who don’t know what it’s like to be a man.

To be a man now days, you can’t burp, fart, drop a deuce with the door open or pop your zits in front of your wife. These are the four things stated by TNE (The Nest Editors) that should not be done unless you want to lose your wife. I’m going to explore these things in more depth, so if you want to bail out of this article now like Obama bailing out the nation, you’ll keep reading because your bailing out effort will fail miserably.

To not burp and be a man at the same time is impossible. There is something in the male chromosome that makes our conscience not recognize this act. It’s like breathing. The true test comes when a man is in a coma, he still burps. This is a scientific fact that this happens and also leads me into the next topic.

Farting, also a bodily function that happens when men are in a coma. How are we supposed to suppress a bodily function that happens when we’re not even awake? Like when we fart in our sleep, it just happens. Plus, they’re just funny, we’re just trying to provide this great world we live in with more humor.

Speaking of humor, dropping a deuce with the door open is just plain funny. Fact, this act made Grumpy of the Seven Dwarves laugh when Dumpy did it. Another attempt at humor, plus if you have kids, there is no privacy anyway, so throw that one out the window when your kids start crawling. After that, it’s just habit to do it and feels weird to have the door shut.

The popping of the zits I can see as not doing in front of the wife. I have to admit though that sometimes I ask my lovely wife to pop mine. Sometimes they are in really random places that I can’t reach to pop, i.e. my back, and they just need to be let go. This is where I bring in my better half to help me out; of course I make sure she wears a full face shield for this process.

So all of this brings me to my main point; political correctness. Are times that bad that in front of our one true love, we have to walk on egg shells like this? Some of you may think that it’s politeness issue, but you’re dead wrong. The one person in your life that you should not have to be polite to all the time is your wife. I say this because if you are polite all the time, and in turn they are polite all the time, is it really a marriage? Marriage is a working relationship and if you’re not willing to work, let the other know what you’re thinking and get in arguments once in awhile – then go marry a robot. It wouldn’t be fun and there would be no humor.

That’s what political correctness is, boring and humorless. Humans are by nature fun and full of laughter and joy.