This is the best time of year, the time of year that Reese's Eggs come out! Somehow, some way, the people that bring us the delicious Reese's Peanut Butter Cups decided to make them even better. Yes, that's right, the eggs are as close to the perfect candy is as possible. Here are some of the reasons:
1. The peanut butter to chocolate ratio has been perfected. The Cups actually have too much chocolate and/or too little peanut butter. The eggs are perfectly balanced.
2. You don't have to deal with the stupid cardboard under the wrapper and then unwrap the cupcake wrapper thing that the Cups are supposedly "baked" in. You can get right to the good stuff right under the wrapper.
3. I guess I really just had 2 reasons.
The Eggs are so much better though, just go try one after you eat a "Cup." The fact that I am disposed to high blood sugar would not stop me from eating an entire bag or whatever of these delicious, delectable eggs.
Let me try and paint a picture in your head on how good these taste. Close your eyes and...wait, STOP! I need you to keep reading this. Alright, cover your eyes like you would for hide and seek when you were a kid, peaking the whole time. Now think about the first time you jumped on a trampoline. The feeling of flying and the goofy feeling in your stomach. For those that have not jumped on a trampoline, go do it. Then eat a Reese's Egg. The first time you jump on a trampoline, all you can do is laugh and keep on doing it. You don't want to stop and really have no reason to, just like eating all the Eggs you want to.
I'll leave this post with the two questions I've been puzzling over for the past couple of years. Why don't they make the Reese's Egg year around? Also, are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"?
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
How to argue with a 3 year old...
There is no right or wrong way to try and argue with a 3 year old. I can speak from experience that logic has not quite formed at this age yet. Come to think of it, after 28 years my logic is still lacking according to my wife. Anyway, to argue with a 3 year old is like trying to look at a cover of a Yanni album without laughing, it just cannot be done.
It’s comparable to playing a game made up on the playground when you were in grade school. A game would be made and as the game went on, more and more rules got added on to make things more favorable for the rule makers. Kind of sounds like the government right now doesn’t it? Ever seen Big Daddy with Adam Sandler, similar to the game the boy makes up called, “I Win.”
Getting back to the advice with how to argue with your 3 year old, or someone else’s for that matter. The fact is that you can’t argue with them, just tell them what to do. I think that’s most of the problem with society, people try giving them a voice in arguments when they don’t know any better and just need to be told what to do.
One of my favorite South Park episodes was when all the parents of the kids were putting them on Ritalin to treat them for A.D.D. Someone brought in a revolutionary new treatment for A.D.D. without the use of medication. The video proceeded to show a demonstration of the techniques where 3 kids were all over the place sitting at their desks. The teacher went up to the first kid and smacked him yelling, “Sit down and study!” The kid stopped and paid attention. He did the same to the second kid. By the time he got to the third kid, the kid had settled down without needing any “treatment.” What a concept!
So the final thought on arguing with a 3 year old is just to tell them what to do, if they get upset or cry, who cares. They need discipline if they are doing something wrong. Just like my lovely wife points out everything I do wrong, which is just about everything. ;) Love ya honey!
It’s comparable to playing a game made up on the playground when you were in grade school. A game would be made and as the game went on, more and more rules got added on to make things more favorable for the rule makers. Kind of sounds like the government right now doesn’t it? Ever seen Big Daddy with Adam Sandler, similar to the game the boy makes up called, “I Win.”
Getting back to the advice with how to argue with your 3 year old, or someone else’s for that matter. The fact is that you can’t argue with them, just tell them what to do. I think that’s most of the problem with society, people try giving them a voice in arguments when they don’t know any better and just need to be told what to do.
One of my favorite South Park episodes was when all the parents of the kids were putting them on Ritalin to treat them for A.D.D. Someone brought in a revolutionary new treatment for A.D.D. without the use of medication. The video proceeded to show a demonstration of the techniques where 3 kids were all over the place sitting at their desks. The teacher went up to the first kid and smacked him yelling, “Sit down and study!” The kid stopped and paid attention. He did the same to the second kid. By the time he got to the third kid, the kid had settled down without needing any “treatment.” What a concept!
So the final thought on arguing with a 3 year old is just to tell them what to do, if they get upset or cry, who cares. They need discipline if they are doing something wrong. Just like my lovely wife points out everything I do wrong, which is just about everything. ;) Love ya honey!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Too Politically Correct
Looking through articles on a web site today during lunch, I came across one entitled “Gross Couple Habits to Avoid, Starting Now.” The article went on to describe 4 things that should not be done in front of your wife/husband, but I think the things not to do were pretty much aimed at the men. The article was written by “The Nest Editors,” obviously all women who don’t know what it’s like to be a man.
To be a man now days, you can’t burp, fart, drop a deuce with the door open or pop your zits in front of your wife. These are the four things stated by TNE (The Nest Editors) that should not be done unless you want to lose your wife. I’m going to explore these things in more depth, so if you want to bail out of this article now like Obama bailing out the nation, you’ll keep reading because your bailing out effort will fail miserably.
To not burp and be a man at the same time is impossible. There is something in the male chromosome that makes our conscience not recognize this act. It’s like breathing. The true test comes when a man is in a coma, he still burps. This is a scientific fact that this happens and also leads me into the next topic.
Farting, also a bodily function that happens when men are in a coma. How are we supposed to suppress a bodily function that happens when we’re not even awake? Like when we fart in our sleep, it just happens. Plus, they’re just funny, we’re just trying to provide this great world we live in with more humor.
Speaking of humor, dropping a deuce with the door open is just plain funny. Fact, this act made Grumpy of the Seven Dwarves laugh when Dumpy did it. Another attempt at humor, plus if you have kids, there is no privacy anyway, so throw that one out the window when your kids start crawling. After that, it’s just habit to do it and feels weird to have the door shut.
The popping of the zits I can see as not doing in front of the wife. I have to admit though that sometimes I ask my lovely wife to pop mine. Sometimes they are in really random places that I can’t reach to pop, i.e. my back, and they just need to be let go. This is where I bring in my better half to help me out; of course I make sure she wears a full face shield for this process.
So all of this brings me to my main point; political correctness. Are times that bad that in front of our one true love, we have to walk on egg shells like this? Some of you may think that it’s politeness issue, but you’re dead wrong. The one person in your life that you should not have to be polite to all the time is your wife. I say this because if you are polite all the time, and in turn they are polite all the time, is it really a marriage? Marriage is a working relationship and if you’re not willing to work, let the other know what you’re thinking and get in arguments once in awhile – then go marry a robot. It wouldn’t be fun and there would be no humor.
That’s what political correctness is, boring and humorless. Humans are by nature fun and full of laughter and joy.
To be a man now days, you can’t burp, fart, drop a deuce with the door open or pop your zits in front of your wife. These are the four things stated by TNE (The Nest Editors) that should not be done unless you want to lose your wife. I’m going to explore these things in more depth, so if you want to bail out of this article now like Obama bailing out the nation, you’ll keep reading because your bailing out effort will fail miserably.
To not burp and be a man at the same time is impossible. There is something in the male chromosome that makes our conscience not recognize this act. It’s like breathing. The true test comes when a man is in a coma, he still burps. This is a scientific fact that this happens and also leads me into the next topic.
Farting, also a bodily function that happens when men are in a coma. How are we supposed to suppress a bodily function that happens when we’re not even awake? Like when we fart in our sleep, it just happens. Plus, they’re just funny, we’re just trying to provide this great world we live in with more humor.
Speaking of humor, dropping a deuce with the door open is just plain funny. Fact, this act made Grumpy of the Seven Dwarves laugh when Dumpy did it. Another attempt at humor, plus if you have kids, there is no privacy anyway, so throw that one out the window when your kids start crawling. After that, it’s just habit to do it and feels weird to have the door shut.
The popping of the zits I can see as not doing in front of the wife. I have to admit though that sometimes I ask my lovely wife to pop mine. Sometimes they are in really random places that I can’t reach to pop, i.e. my back, and they just need to be let go. This is where I bring in my better half to help me out; of course I make sure she wears a full face shield for this process.
So all of this brings me to my main point; political correctness. Are times that bad that in front of our one true love, we have to walk on egg shells like this? Some of you may think that it’s politeness issue, but you’re dead wrong. The one person in your life that you should not have to be polite to all the time is your wife. I say this because if you are polite all the time, and in turn they are polite all the time, is it really a marriage? Marriage is a working relationship and if you’re not willing to work, let the other know what you’re thinking and get in arguments once in awhile – then go marry a robot. It wouldn’t be fun and there would be no humor.
That’s what political correctness is, boring and humorless. Humans are by nature fun and full of laughter and joy.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
I got worms...
So when I was growing up, we watched a lot of movies. The good movies we watched several times just so we could pick up all the good lines in them. For example, I saw Dumb & Dumber in the movie theater 6 times. You may be saying, who sees a movie 6 times in the theater?! Well, here's the two part answer. First, that just shows I have great taste in movies because it's a classic and secondly where I grew up there wasn't a whole lot else to do.
Anyway, back to the point I'm trying to get across here. Conversations between myself and my friends usually consists of at least 1 movie quote, in context, for every 6 sentences spoken. Wait, let me specify here, conversations between myself and my MALE friends usually consists of at least 1 movie quote, in context, for every 6 sentences spoken. When girls try and follow these conversations, they get lost very quickly.
What is it about guys that we just understand each other when we quote movie lines? Girls require explanations for what the movie was, the situation it was said in and who said it. This is a total buzzkill, it kills the conversation and all fluidity is gone.
So to the female readers (or guys that cannot follow conversations with movie quotes in them), don't ask questions about where that line was from if a conversation is going on that you may be dropping in on or a part of. Just smile and make it look/sound like you are following the conversation. Kind of like how we (males) smile and nod our heads like we're paying attention to you when you're telling a story about you and your friends and all the feelings involved.
So there's my two cents. Wolf out!!
Anyway, back to the point I'm trying to get across here. Conversations between myself and my friends usually consists of at least 1 movie quote, in context, for every 6 sentences spoken. Wait, let me specify here, conversations between myself and my MALE friends usually consists of at least 1 movie quote, in context, for every 6 sentences spoken. When girls try and follow these conversations, they get lost very quickly.
What is it about guys that we just understand each other when we quote movie lines? Girls require explanations for what the movie was, the situation it was said in and who said it. This is a total buzzkill, it kills the conversation and all fluidity is gone.
So to the female readers (or guys that cannot follow conversations with movie quotes in them), don't ask questions about where that line was from if a conversation is going on that you may be dropping in on or a part of. Just smile and make it look/sound like you are following the conversation. Kind of like how we (males) smile and nod our heads like we're paying attention to you when you're telling a story about you and your friends and all the feelings involved.
So there's my two cents. Wolf out!!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Finally!
I got to witness a great thing today while driving around and doing errands. The one thing all of us want to see before we die! Yes, of course this site was someone being stupid on their crotch-rocket motorcycle and licking the pavement.
Most of the people on these motorcycles are just plain stupid and think their crap don't stink. They fly around in traffic extremely recklessly and irresponsible. So finally I got to watch a show boating moron eat it. I laughed for quite awhile when I saw it, but pulled up next to him to ask if he was okay.
His response was just what I thought it was going to be. "Yeah, Yeah. I'm fine man." Although everyone could tell he was clearly shaken and just didn't want to admit it because again, he's a moron.
I think anyone that owns one of these motorcycles should have to take some kind of mandatory class where they are brain washed into driving these high powered machines like they should be.
Anyway, seeing this guy eat asphalt then get up with his pants and jacket all scraped up and his bike a little beat up was fun. I get to cross off one more thing on my list of "Things I want to see before I die." Hopefully next on the list is seeing a football player not celebrate when they make some hoe hum play. I doubt that will ever happen.
Most of the people on these motorcycles are just plain stupid and think their crap don't stink. They fly around in traffic extremely recklessly and irresponsible. So finally I got to watch a show boating moron eat it. I laughed for quite awhile when I saw it, but pulled up next to him to ask if he was okay.
His response was just what I thought it was going to be. "Yeah, Yeah. I'm fine man." Although everyone could tell he was clearly shaken and just didn't want to admit it because again, he's a moron.
I think anyone that owns one of these motorcycles should have to take some kind of mandatory class where they are brain washed into driving these high powered machines like they should be.
Anyway, seeing this guy eat asphalt then get up with his pants and jacket all scraped up and his bike a little beat up was fun. I get to cross off one more thing on my list of "Things I want to see before I die." Hopefully next on the list is seeing a football player not celebrate when they make some hoe hum play. I doubt that will ever happen.
Friday, February 13, 2009
I fart in your general direction!!
So what is it about farts that are so funny? It's a completely normal body function but it makes me laugh. Call me immature, but flatulence is just good old fun. My wife would not agree with me on this topic as she has to live the deadly odor that somehow comes out of my body.
Her: What stinks, did you fart!
Me: No. (Said with a smirk)
Her: Yes you did, it smells like a turd wrapped in burnt hair!
Me: Man, that's a harsh analogy.
(Then I catch a whiff as they never seem to reach the nostrils of those who deal it until after others are already gagging)
Me: Wow, it smells like rotten eggs mixed with poo.
We seem to have these kind of conversations at least on a daily basis. Anyway, what made me think to write this blog is because of a visit to the men's bathroom at location X.
Now for women's sake, I need to give a little background information, men hang with me. So a men's bathroom usually has a urinal right next to a toilet stall. Now, when men pee, we fart too. I'm sure there's some kind of scientific reason this happens, like because we're male, but I don't know for sure what it is. Also, on average, men fart about 26 times as much as our female counter parts.
Okay, back to the experience. So I was sitting on the throne, minding my own business in the stall right next to the urinal. Someone comes into bathroom and I can see the shoes and recognize them. As said patron proceeded to do his business the farts came. Now, when you hear them, it's just funny. A string of air biscuits came flying out wildly. Women might be able to compare this to attending a Yoga class where the attendants get a little too relaxed. It's just funny to hear other people tear ass and not have to smell it. If you do live with it, passing gas is no laughing matter. (If you do, please visit http://www.dontpassgas.org/downloads/DPG_Brochure.pdf)
Now, I offer up the chance for some good comments from readers. I wanted to get a list of other terms used for flatulence. I offer these up to get the brain going and see what other ones you come up with.
-Let one fly
-Crop dusting
-Back Draft
-Barking Spiders
.....
Her: What stinks, did you fart!
Me: No. (Said with a smirk)
Her: Yes you did, it smells like a turd wrapped in burnt hair!
Me: Man, that's a harsh analogy.
(Then I catch a whiff as they never seem to reach the nostrils of those who deal it until after others are already gagging)
Me: Wow, it smells like rotten eggs mixed with poo.
We seem to have these kind of conversations at least on a daily basis. Anyway, what made me think to write this blog is because of a visit to the men's bathroom at location X.
Now for women's sake, I need to give a little background information, men hang with me. So a men's bathroom usually has a urinal right next to a toilet stall. Now, when men pee, we fart too. I'm sure there's some kind of scientific reason this happens, like because we're male, but I don't know for sure what it is. Also, on average, men fart about 26 times as much as our female counter parts.
Okay, back to the experience. So I was sitting on the throne, minding my own business in the stall right next to the urinal. Someone comes into bathroom and I can see the shoes and recognize them. As said patron proceeded to do his business the farts came. Now, when you hear them, it's just funny. A string of air biscuits came flying out wildly. Women might be able to compare this to attending a Yoga class where the attendants get a little too relaxed. It's just funny to hear other people tear ass and not have to smell it. If you do live with it, passing gas is no laughing matter. (If you do, please visit http://www.dontpassgas.org/downloads/DPG_Brochure.pdf)
Now, I offer up the chance for some good comments from readers. I wanted to get a list of other terms used for flatulence. I offer these up to get the brain going and see what other ones you come up with.
-Let one fly
-Crop dusting
-Back Draft
-Barking Spiders
.....
Singing Along...
I don't know about you guys, but I love to listen to music. All kinds, doesn't matter what it is, there's great stuff out there for all kinds of tastes. Rap doesn't count, they just steal their beats from real artists and semi-rhyme. Rap crap is just dumb.
So anyway, back to what I wanted to get to. People like music, but these same people don't understand why people would pay in excess of $80 for a concert ticket to see their favorite bands perform the songs they love. Why pay that much when I can stay at home and listen to the songs I love on my stereo and not have to pay a ton to be elbow to elbow with crazy fans lighting up as soon as the lights go dim when they come on stage?
I'll tell you why. When you get to sing along with your favorite songs while the singers sing, it's the greatest feeling ever. While you're screaming the lyrics at the top of your lungs, which is why concerts are so loud - so people can't actually hear each other because that would just be awful, you get goose bumps thinking about all the memories you have tied to that song and now you're singing it along with the band that wrote it.
Some bands are great when you listen to them on the CD (or mp3 for now a days), but they are just terrible performers or sounds atrocious live. These bands are crap, stop listening to them. The ones that can put out a good album but are great live, these are the bands that hang around and are successful.
Now I don't know where the tradition started with the lighters and now cell phones coming out during the good songs, but this is just stupid. I haven't been to a concert to awhile, see previous blogs about having kids, so I don't know if this is still being done. If this does happen when you go to a show, punch anyone that does this in the neck that may be in your immediate vicinity. Hopefully this will get rid of this problem and make this country great again!
Eeeehhhhh, Iiii'mm, I'm still alive! Keep on rockin in the free world! Insert your favorite lyrics here!
So anyway, back to what I wanted to get to. People like music, but these same people don't understand why people would pay in excess of $80 for a concert ticket to see their favorite bands perform the songs they love. Why pay that much when I can stay at home and listen to the songs I love on my stereo and not have to pay a ton to be elbow to elbow with crazy fans lighting up as soon as the lights go dim when they come on stage?
I'll tell you why. When you get to sing along with your favorite songs while the singers sing, it's the greatest feeling ever. While you're screaming the lyrics at the top of your lungs, which is why concerts are so loud - so people can't actually hear each other because that would just be awful, you get goose bumps thinking about all the memories you have tied to that song and now you're singing it along with the band that wrote it.
Some bands are great when you listen to them on the CD (or mp3 for now a days), but they are just terrible performers or sounds atrocious live. These bands are crap, stop listening to them. The ones that can put out a good album but are great live, these are the bands that hang around and are successful.
Now I don't know where the tradition started with the lighters and now cell phones coming out during the good songs, but this is just stupid. I haven't been to a concert to awhile, see previous blogs about having kids, so I don't know if this is still being done. If this does happen when you go to a show, punch anyone that does this in the neck that may be in your immediate vicinity. Hopefully this will get rid of this problem and make this country great again!
Eeeehhhhh, Iiii'mm, I'm still alive! Keep on rockin in the free world! Insert your favorite lyrics here!
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